![]() ![]() For instance, a woman might say to her husband, “Do you have to work Thursday night? My mother is coming that weekend, and I need your help getting ready.” He replies, “My plans are set, and I’m not changing them.” As you might guess, this guy is in a shaky marriage. In studying heterosexual marriages, we found that a relationship succeeds to the extent that the husband can accept influence from his wife. Bringing up problems gently and without blame works much better and allows couples to calmly engage in conflict. They avoid saying every critical thought when discussing touchy topics, and they will find ways to express their needs and concerns respectfully without criticizing or blaming their partner.Īrguments often “start up” because one partner escalates the conflict by making a critical or contemptuous remark. The most successful couples are kind to each other. If you feel there’s any sign of trouble in your marriage early on, seek help. ![]() ![]() This means the average couple lives with unhappiness for far too long. And keep in mind, half of all marriages that end do so in the first seven years. The average couple waits six years before seeking help for relationship problems. The seven ideas below, drawn from four decades of real science, will make your love last a lifetime. That’s where The Gottman Institute comes in. Many couples start to come apart seven years after the wedding because our culture doesn’t teach us how to maintain and strengthen our emotional bonds. The “honeymoon” phase in any committed relationship is not meant to last-eventually it becomes obvious that sharing a life with another person requires a special set of skills. ![]()
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